Joke of the Day - Space Exploration
Sunday, December 24, 2006The First Malaysian in Space
Mahathir finally sends a Malaysian into space courtesy of the Russians. Finally, after months of training, the Malaysian astronaut and a chimpanzee are blasted off into space.
Once in orbit, the Malaysian waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instrucions are flashed on it:
"Chimpanzee, execute space manuever No. 23B"
The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the manuever. The Malaysian astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.
The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:
"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"
The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the Malaysian astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control tru the comm link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"
Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"
Finally, the monkey rejoins the Malaysian astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.
THe screen flickers and the message appears....
"Prepare for new instructions...."
A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....
"Malaysian astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"
The Malaysian astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...
The screen flickers again....
"Malaysian astronaut, please feed the monkey"
Malaysian in Space
Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.
3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"
Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."
Once in orbit, the Malaysian waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instrucions are flashed on it:
"Chimpanzee, execute space manuever No. 23B"
The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the manuever. The Malaysian astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.
The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:
"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"
The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the Malaysian astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control tru the comm link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"
Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"
Finally, the monkey rejoins the Malaysian astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.
THe screen flickers and the message appears....
"Prepare for new instructions...."
A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....
"Malaysian astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"
The Malaysian astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...
The screen flickers again....
"Malaysian astronaut, please feed the monkey"
Malaysian in Space
Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.
3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid for it?"
Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies Muthu.
"I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the Malay guy to come here."
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay applicant.
"2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!"
"You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and 15 children...so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves..."
"I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission... how much do you think you should be paid?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 million."
Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, "One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space."
Sun exploration
Three delegates from China, Indonesia and Malaysia attended the United Nations' Meeting. All the nations were discussing about space exploration by the year 2020. Here were some of the conversations:
Chinese Delegate: 'By the year 2020, China will start their moon exploration project.'
Indonesian Delegate: "We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon."
Malaysian Delegate: "By the year 2020, Malaysia will explore the sun."
There was a long silence, the other candidates stood up and all asked the Malaysia Delegate the same question: "Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?"
Malaysian Delegate (smiling): "I had this thought out already. We will do it in the evening."
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